Thursday, August 26, 2010

Seeking The Blessings

In this Holy Month of Ramadhan, I am unable to fast. Already upset, it gets more frustrating to have to find ways to hide eating. It's worse when I have to run around in public. After a stupid incident at the office cafe, I found a solution in a colleague who is willing to help me every day. Alhamdulillah.

That aside, I am hopeful that I get some reward by feeding those who break their fasts.

Last week I got to also join some of my family members in breaking fast in two separate occassions. When visiting my brother who just had a newborn, I brought along some pizzas for iftar. We shared the meal with his mother-in-law too. It was humble but very satisfying. Alhamdulillah.

Then I went to visit my sister and her family, bringing iftar food from pasar Ramadhan with me. They were so happy to receive us and to have a bigger spread of meal that day. I am so glad to be able to join them for the iftar. The food was amazing and the company was heart-warming. Alhamdulillah.

I'm looking forward to more iftars, inshaAllah.

Thank you Allah for my family and all the love we share.

May Allah grant us the strength to increase our ibadah in this blessed month, and the imaan and taqwa to perform the ibadah the best we can.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

My Love

I love my kids. I love them so much.

Everyday I look at them I am reminded of how wonderful this is. I am thankful for the amazing experience Allah gives me.

Yes there are moments when I get angry with them, especially lately when Amira had her tantrums of "I want NOTHING!!!" after going back and forth countless time answering my Qs about why she was crying and what she wanted. She's stubborn and she can competently verbally defend her mind. Mind you, she'll be only three next week.

When Dadda yelled at her and asked her to do something, she ignored him. He repeated it, and she said to me "Dadda did not say 'please'!"
So he responded "I don't have to. You disobeyed me!"
She replied "I am not talking to you. I'm talking to Momma!"
I had to hide my smile.

My daughter, who has outgrown being "Momma's Moon" (now she says she's "Momma's daughter, not Momma's moon"), defends me whenever I get into a fight with her father. Ha ha!

Umar is also talking more now. He says lots of words and repeats most of the words we say to him. He understands most of what we say to him, and responds accordingly in his own way. He loves jumping around and one of their routine before bed is jumping on Amira's bed - laughing and screaming together with pure joy.

MashaAllah, they are strong and smart. May them grow up to be man and woman who are kind and beriman. May Allah continue to bless them with health, happiness, intelligence, love, and all of His Rahmah.

I just need to be more patient with my kids. They have to endure most of the day away from me. That is the saddest part. When I am away, they may be subjected to certain things that I am really unhappy with.

That's why I am spending as much time as possible with them.. carrying them around with me when I'm running errands - pasar malam, groceries shopping, car maintenance, etc. I am extra tired by the extra load, and things take longer to be done, but I'm sick of losing more time with them.

I'll do this as much as I can and I long as I am capable of doing it.

May Allah continue to give me the strength to be their Mother the best I can.